today i will wander to the brothel
those divine friends of jesus
where i will intercourse
with the ladies in my growing spanish
while they wash clothes and bathe
i the balneologist with the brandy
we watch t.v. novellas
share laughter, sip the liquor
risibility creeping as jungle vines
laughing at and with the world
while summer's oppression lies outside
above the tropical fan in perpetual motion
until a tempest rips reality away
we toast those in some new york dinosaur
grasping at a decade of some man's thought
to gas pedals working Los Angeles over and over
we drink to the flies breeding everywhere
parents who offer their children to prostitution
thievery, starvation, war, slavery
trains arriving, children sold to factories
making cheaper goods, cheaper life, tennis shoes
we drink to the religions
preachers arriving without, against birth control
alas we need more poor souls
collections for the orphanage, minus commission
a lady at the orphanage wanted you to know
today i want to voyage into laughter's oblivion
here where the ladies busy the day
prepare for the night, me the tabula rasa
here is my escape
outside the mountains scream, slash, burn
here i share shots
sharing conversations in the mother tongue
the one so rare for the poet to rise above
never venturing here at night
where the customers have their fill
later one will walk to town, get a taxi
they will load the poet and papers in
i stare back to the alohas, adios
those divine friends of jesus
will throw away the empty bottle
the taxi knows these times
the road thru the neotropical forest
thoughts lost in leaves, limbs, alcohol
the driver helps me upstairs
finds the key, opens the door
the desk has come to know
he does this twice a month
when he goes to the post office, bank
he pays the bills come morning
the bed accepts the cigarette burns

today he wants no mind
he only wants laughter's oblivion
jesus and friends

so Olga, i finished the story
i never came to condemn nor condone
sip brandy, chat awhile. forget outside
those fires raging across the mountains
i just wanted to be with my sisters
learning the mother tongue
during the day when the whoremongers sleep
the men have come to resent my smiles
as i traverse the pueblo
and i wonder how your killer is doing
i hear he found jesus in jail
i found jesus in you
remembering midnite mass, people staring
prostitute, poet, brother, sister
the true family not always sanguineous
you taught me my first prayer in spanish
jesus hanging on the cross
smiling for the first time
just us girls having fun
that was all we ever wanted

tonight my heart lies broken
and i am crying again
teach me to forgive God, Olga
teach me to forgive

         San Blas   92